a small collection of somewhat disturbing, but otherwise entertaining posts
I have come so far in my recovery and coping with schizophrenia and psychosis since February. Seeking counseling was the best thing that ever happened to me and finding Jesus again has given me the courage to take my life back and move on. It was between jumping in front of a truck and choosing to live and I am glad that I did. I am finally going back to a university in the fall and I cannot wait! I am ready to become an adult. I want to do great things for humanity and nobody can get in my way, not epilepsy, anorexia, or my dysfunctional parents. I am woman. Hear me roar. The time to act is now.
I know it’s been awhile,
But I finally feel alive.
Lines of hope across my heart
Are written in the skies.
Breaking the walls down
Fear is being burnt to the ground,
A phoenix rises from the soot,
Black as the twilight’s past.
A signal of hope and prosperity,
I am free at last!
Hating the person I’ve become
Heart filled with hate,
Cold as ice, a pain so numb.
From the inside out
Unable to configure,
My heart’s whereabouts.
Give me guidance,
Give me shelter,
Give me freedom,
Let me into your kingdom.
A longing for security,
And extinguishing inferiority.
Put my mind at ease,
For my soul I must appease.
Finding your way home
Through the foggy crossroads,
Clear as crystal waters,
From a soothing hot spring,
Ionized, healing with simplicity.
Idling death and decay
With problematic illusions,
Vapor soothing charred skin,
As the morning dew,
Washes away damnation.
I’ve been scared senseless,
The wrath of anxiety,
Murders the courage of the young.
Losing touch with reality,
Like a sailor,
Lost for days at sea.
Fearing life as the enemy,
Sharp is the double edged sword,
Carving wounds of pain and agony.
Fear creeps from the dark,
Like a silent shark,
Ready to attack,
Smelling the sanguine aroma of blood and flesh,
Silent killers- laying you to rest.
Segments of a holistic human centipede,
Coprorophagy by means of corporate greed.
Once a segment dies,
Another one grows.
A dysfunctional origin,
Beginning and end- nobody knows.
Entangled by twisted shackles,
As the robber grins and cackles.
Taking organs and lives from the innocent,
Priceless is the value of the ignorant.
Disposing us to suit their own need,
Bejeweling their most heinous deeds.
Dysfunctional myths of authority,
Abuse and misuse in the name of superiority.
Distant illusions such as trust,
Lost in time and space-turned to dust.